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Satirical Spa

by DEANY DARKO

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1.
Rude boy 03:40
I aint much to look at and this I know. Been out drinking too much honey and its starting to show. But if you think my body has gone to seed then just take it real slow and you’ll get what you need. It might take a lot this old boiler of mine but when it fires up honey its still good and primed. Rude boy Rude boy not coming home tonight and Rude boy Rude boy no fussing and a fight. Rude boy Rude boy he’s staying out of jail cause Rude boy aint got no money for his bail. I aint no race horse, no racing steed. But given half a chance you’ll still got what you need. You might think I’m just some lazy old man but I can get you going baby, if you can. My movements still running like an old Swiss clock. When you hear me coming with my ticking and my tock. Rude boy Rude boy not coming home tonight and Rude boy Rude boy no fussing and a fight. Rude boy Rude boy he’s staying out of jail cause Rude boy aint got no money for his bail. Oh Rude boy. He’s going out every night. He aint staying at home for a fussing and a fight. He aint getting too old for this kinda life. He don’t want no babies or a fussing wife. Rude boy Rude boy not coming home tonight and Rude boy Rude boy no fussing and a fight. Rude boy Rude boy he’s staying out of jail cause Rude boy aint got no money for his bail.
2.
Mother cried all night long. Raging like a thunder storm. Papa sat with a bible in his hand. Asking God to understand. Hound dog howled all night long. Come the morning my Papa was gone. Preacher came and he took one look. He went outside and burnt his holy book. Vodka and tears and a few cold beers. The night wont be wasted after all. I want to scream yeah, a little Al Green and the night wont be wasted after all. The big full moon, I’m drunk too soon. The night wont be wasted after all. I’m going down slow and I hope it doesn’t show but the night wont be wasted after all. I grew up quick and I grew up mean. Mess with me and ill cut you clean. The Voodoo queen sat me on her knew. Kissed my lips and set me free. I’m the keeper , the Voodoo man. At the crossroads is where I stand. A broken cross oh be afraid. Ill be waiting at you grave. Vodka and tears and a few cold beers. The night wont be wasted after all. I want to scream yeah, a little Al Green and the night wont be wasted after all. The big full moon, I’m drunk too soon. The night wont be wasted after all. I’m going down slow and I hope it doesn’t show but the night wont be wasted after all. Now I’ve found a place to hide my heart. It wont get hurt no more. Been dazed and confused, damaged and abused but I wont get hurt no more. If you play with fire then you’ll get burnt but I wont get hurt no more. The price is high and the lesson well learnt but I wont get hurt no more. Vodka and tears and a few cold beers. The night wont be wasted after all. I want to scream yeah, a little Al Green and the night wont be wasted after all. The big full moon, I’m drunk too soon. The night wont be wasted after all. I’m going down slow and I hope it doesn’t show but the night wont be wasted after all.
3.
Trevor he was sitting on the end of his bed with his hand in his pocket and his mind on his meds. There’s only one question that repeats in his head is where I’m going to get my fix for the day. I need Cossack Cossack lots of Cossack. Anyone that knows me knows that I’ve lost it. Lost it lost it I’ve definitely lost it. The only cure is a little bit of Cossack. Oh yeah. It makes me feel ok. Feels like I’m running down a four lane highway. It always makes my day. It gives me hope. Like something I’ve never known. But getting blood from a stone. It’s never going to go. Every dark mind has a man with a will and the man he can sell you an imaginary pill and the pill it can take you to an imaginary place but to face this place isn’t worth the raise. I need Cossack Cossack lots of Cossack. Anyone that knows me knows that I’ve lost it. Lost it lost it I’ve definitely lost it. The only cure is a little bit of Cossack. Oh yeah. It makes me feel ok. Feels like I’m running down a four lane highway. It always makes my day. It gives me hope. Like something I’ve never known. But getting blood from a stone. Its never going to go. This time I’m awake. No more hiding in my dark place. This time I’m awake. Open up the shutters and let in my light
4.
Well here we are now folks. We’re five days in and the cracks are already starting to show. My self imposing room retreat is starting now to have me beat. But what else can I do now to try and put the days in. They’ve tried to tempt me to join a group, with a fucking hulahoop. Well for these crazy bastards that may be enough distractions but I’m sorry folks that shit don’t fly. Is it any wonder I want to die. Well I’m thinking it’s about time to go home now. Huh! My lessons truly learnt. But alas I fear it won’t be that easy. They’ve got me trapped. Oh lord appease me. I’ve talked with my doctor who bluntly pointed out. “But Dean its only been five days. We still don’t know what’s in your head.”. So how does this end then. We’re going round in circles. Do they know what’s best? Do I just sit back and enjoy the rest? Psycho ward number twelve. Welcome to your living hell. Once you’re in you’re never getting out. Now you’ve lots to shout about. In Psycho ward number twelve you’ll never hurt yourself whilst you’re strapped to a bed. In Psycho ward number twelve you’re never getting better they just fuck with your head,
5.
We’re all groomed to believe in the joys that come with wealth. As if our sheer existence is measured in financial girth. And I have to admit now I feel into that trap. Turned into a pompous wannabe. Urgh, a fucking twat. My boasts of flashy cars, my trips to far flung places. Throwing cash around myself forgetting airs and graces. I’m sure my peers are laughing now, they’ve known all along. The higher I sit upon my stool the harder I will fall. So take some heed. Don’t make mistakes that I did. Turn your empty pockets in, enjoy your life for what it is. So take some heed. There’s a lesson to be told. The world can easily pass you by, have no regrets when you get old. And now I’ve had my disastrous fall from grace. Been locked up in this tiny room, been getting used to this pace. I’ve had plenty of time now to reflect on my bad choices. Started now to understand and listen to the voices. If only I had listened when everyone around me stood around in disbelief. The mistakes I made for all to see. To turn your back on the things that make you happy is nothing short of sacrilege. No soul. No will. No dreams to live. So take some heed. Don’t make mistakes that I did. Turn your empty pockets in, enjoy your life for what it is. So take some heed. There’s a lesson to be told. The world can easily pass you by, have no regrets when you get old.
6.
Ode 03:17
It’s only been two days and I’ve already retreated to sanity of my room. The far side of that door’s another world to me. I don’t belong out there. You’ll see. Do you think I’ll ever learn or ever change my ways. Do you think I’ll ever yearn to live for better days. Do you think that there’s a pill that can make it alright. One to make me strong enough to put up a fight. Staring out the window, watch the world go by. What spoils the view? The bars that run from side to side. I’m laughing at myself in my sarcastic tone in disbelief at what state my life’s become. On paper you would think that I was living the dream. The spoilt little brat cat that’s just got the cream. I sold my soul like a sell out looking for immediate cash and now I’ll pay the price of a regret that will last. Do you think I’ll ever learn or ever change my ways. Do you think I’ll ever yearn to live for better days. Do you think that there’s a pill that can make it alright. One to make me strong enough to put up a fight.
7.
They say being famous and what its suppose to be. Just once I’d like to find out. See what’s it’s like for me. The press and the Dames all calling out my name. The sex and the drugs to completely blow my brain. They say being rich oh it aint suppose to be. Well just once I’d like to find out. See what it’s like for me. The mansions and the cars and my signature guitars. Drinking till I’m pissed in them fancy wine bars. They say being poor aint how it’s spose to be. I tried it out once it weren’t good for me. Living on the streets and hanging out alone. Wishing I had somewhere to call my very own. They say that your dreams aren’t what they’re spose to be. Well I’m guessing those people have had it worse than me. I’m giving it my all, oh this time you’ll see. I’m gonna make it baby cause I’m looking out for me. Now we’re dancing round in circles and we’re jumping up and down. There’s not a single face around that’s gloom and with a frown. We don’t need no riches. No mansions on the hill. We’re gonna dance all night baby. There’s no standing still. We’re going downtown baby, Downtown woman. Downtown baby, Downtown baby tonight.
8.
In times gone by there lived a creature. Well renowned for his protruding feature. And on it’s hooves held on by hooks. It wore the most amazing boots. Flowing tassels adorned their sides with shiny buckles on leather ties. Upon the end of pointed toes. Metal tips shone a healthy glow. But there was more than meets the eye. For this cheeky pony he fell from the sky. His mission was tasked just for him. He had one sole purpose in life and a ten gallon brim. For Tony Tony he really loved his country. Could line dance like a champion breed. Could even get quite funky. He could teach you how to square dance and strut those funky boots. He once won a round of dressage dancing to American Roots. But there was more than meets the eye. For this cheeky pony he fell from the sky. His mission was tasked just for him. He had one sole purpose in life and a ten gallon brim. But sinister Tony had a sinister plan and sinister reasons for his sinister van. He toured and danced all across our land and Coly McClean played guitar in his band. But what those poor people didn’t know about Tonys nose. Was from the end of his singular horn. LIGHTENING BOLTS FLOWED! And now Tony’s going to enslave our land to form one giant country band and with his new found despicable force. Planet after planet enslaved by horse. Their mineral deposits raped for greed while Tony plants his hateful seed. For this was not your average pony. A galaxy led just by one Tony! But sinister Tony had a sinister plan and sinister reasons for his sinister van. He toured and danced all across our land and Coly McClean played guitar in his band. But what those poor people didn’t know about Tonys nose. Was from the end of his singular horn. LIGHTENING BOLTS FLOWED!
9.
Come one come all. Pack your bags for a vacation. But you’ll not be needing evening wear or shoes that tie with laces. It’s fully inclusive. No need to bring your cash. Your meals come out at clockwork times. Your plastic forks go in the trash. It’s like a summer retreat. You leave your worries at the gate. Discussion classes run on time your hosts ensure you won’t be late. No wake up calls are required for this vacation. They’ll kindly pull your curtains open, adjust your bed before you’ve spoken. The evening entertainment comes in lots of different guise. The movie starts at eight o’clock or garden walks behind bolted locks. And there’s no need to worry what time to go to bed. The usher shows you to your room, ensures you rest your busy head. And for your protection. Just to put your mind at ease. Their hourly checks into your room, no louder than a summer breeze. There can be no safer place to have your own vacation. You’ll certainly not be tripping over anybodies laces. SATIRICAL SPA A place for relaxation SATIRICAL SPA Relax for the duration SATIRICAL SPA Everybody knows your name. Sit back, relax, enjoy the show. It’ll all be over before you know.
10.
Overtime 02:55
When your man’s gone to work that’s when I clock on. You’re gonna work me hard baby make me sweat. Well this work aint hard now to make me sweat. I’ll do you all the time I’m the best you can get. I’m working overtime baby. Well I’m your ace card honey, I’m your handy man. Do you all the time, do the best I can. Well I’m your ace card honey, I’m your handy man. Do you all the time, do the best I can.
11.
Well midnights been calling tonight and i wonder who's holding her tight. And does she ever think of me? When we where young and fancy free. And i wonder who's loving that girl tonight. They say time can ease a broken heart. Some people think that they're so smart. They don't understand oh what you did to this cowboy man. And i wonder who's loving that girl tonight. Time cant erase this pain down in my heart. How could one woman be so cruel to this sweet old cowboy man. and i wonder who's loving that girl tonight. Well sometimes it feels so bad. And i wonder what it's all for. The love between a man and a woman and a girl and a boy. And i wonder who's loving that girl tonight.

credits

released April 9, 2014

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DEANY DARKO Belfast, UK

Deany Darko is a Northern Irish musician playing his individual take on Ska Punk setting wonderfully dark lyrics against upbeat vibes. The album is a journey with Dean as he recounts his fight with depression and subsequent stay in hospital (The satirical spa) using his typical Irish wit. Each song tells a dark story with the overall message being no matter how bad it gets there's always hope. ... more

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